Frantically I jump around on crutches in search of Ayida Abera Akalewold at the Stavanger Bus Terminal.
As I don’t know how she looks like, all I have to go by is the frugal description I have of her given to me by my Hero refugee centre contact.
“She is Ethiopian and is bringing her daughter”. I felt a bit like on a blind date where I was hopping around staring at strangers hoping that they were “my” stranger.
There were surprisingly many African mothers in Stavanger this day, but thankfully she had a mobile and texted me so that we managed to find each other.
It was a beautiful, quiet young African woman that greeted me. Her daughter’s chubby cheeks and smile further amplified my impression that this was a gracious and kind woman.
“I´ve dreamt of doing modelling,” she said and offers a shy smile. “Thank you so much for doing this, you are so kind”
I assure her that it is nothing, and that I cannot wait to photograph her. As the amazing stylist Åse Vestersjø works her magic, we get a quick chance to get to know each other.
“I feel so lucky to be here in Stavanger,” she said. “Even though it is really hard to be so far away from my husband and my family, I give my thanks to God every day that I am here now.”
Turns out that she left Ethiopia shortly after she found out she was pregnant.
Her husband, a Project Manager, is still in Ethiopia, awaiting the UDIs approval to unite with his wife and daughter in Norway.
Rather than being bitter about being away from her husband she smiles and tells me that her and her baby girl talk with her husband almost every day via Skype. “It really makes the absence less difficult,” she said.
Although she studied finance in Ethiopia, her passion is more in humanitarian and social work.
“You see in Ethiopia the government kind of decides for you what you should study based on results on public tests,” she said.
“Once I am more proficient in Norwegian I hope to go on doing a sociology degree here in Norway.”
As she continues to tell me about how it was going to university in Ethiopia I marvel at this quiet strength this woman exudes.
Although I cannot picture her at the front of a rally screaming at the top of her lungs I can still see the resilient force within her.
“I was part of this women’s rights group at my university,” she said.
“You see it’s not like here in Norway, where you as a woman can walk in town being safe and left in peace,” she said.
“In Ethiopia you are constantly harassed by men and the attention could easily lead to dangerous situations.”
“Women’s rights have such long way to go in my home country, especially when it comes to female circumcision,” Ayida said.
“The worst thing about it is that so many women back home still support this practice,” she said. “As part of the women’s group I was in at University we tried to create awareness and stop this practice.”
She quickly glanced at her daughter as she said this.
“Thankfully my daughter was born in Norway,” she said with a careful smile.
She continues in her quiet but firm voice. “I really want to create awareness for this internationally and wish to see and end of female circumcision.”
When asked why it is carried out she explains that it is so that the woman is easier to control as she has less enjoyment from sex (cannot reach climax) and hence less likely to be unfaithful among other reasons.
We inaudibly look at each other and smile.
After the interview I Google female circumcision or “Female Genital Mutilation” as I find it described as in a few scholarly articles.
One article said that more than half of all women in Ethiopian undergone this practice even though this practice is recognized globally as a violation of internationally accepted human rights and represent a violation of several international agreements, treaties and covenants.
I hope that the stars align so that Ayidas husband can come to Norway for them to start their life together here, and that she manage to pursue her dream of making a difference in terms of reducing FGM amongst Ethiopian women.
